By DARLENE VANN / Headline Surfer Blog: Musings
EDGEWATER, Fla. -- The most interesting thing happened to me recently that got me thinking about my life thus far.
A gentleman on the 23 and Me Ancestry site messaged me that we are second cousins.
Having no relatives in the area of the country where he lives and no names matched any of my family names I told him I could not see how that was possible. We messaged a couple of times but could not find a link.
Last night he called me and told me his daughter had spent days - some even without sleeping - researching to determine how we were related and she figured it out. It seems my father’s father lived in New York State when he was a young man and this gentlemen’s grandmother lived there, too.
She got pregnant and was sure the baby belonged to a different guy. When she told him about the baby, he told her he did not want children.
Apparently she wanted him so she gave up her baby girl for adoption. Evidently, my grandfather never knew about this child. I never heard anything about this and neither had my second cousin until his daughter did the research.
Evidently, the adopters moved to the Midwest where he now lives. Our DNA shows, however, that we share a grandfather on my father’s side. That was a bit of a shock. My grandfather early on was a furniture mover for Mayflower so they traveled around. He was young and I am thinking not yet married so anything was possible.
]I am not easily shocked because several of my uncles on dad’s side were serial cheaters.
We plan to get together when he and his family come down for winter, which they do every year at which time he can see pictures of his grandfather that I have. This got me to thinking about life as I knew it until recently.
We, as a nation, are outgoing friendly touchy feely people or at least most of us have been. I am trying to picture now how weird it will be not being able to hug this new relative when I meet him or even shake hands with him. Getting together in large family groups was the norm as I grew up.
We had a summer picnic every year that relatives came to from far away.
I remember sitting outside watching the guys play baseball,or badmitten, putting the drinks in the river to keep them cold and what a great time that was.
That particular side of the family mostly stayed in the same town when they grew up and married so every Saturday night was card-playing night at the grandparents' house.
We played Setback and at the end of the night whoever had won the most games won the pot of bets. Every year, we had bets on the World Series and whoever came closest won that pot. We always had cookouts and celebrated family-style everyone’s birthday. I miss all that immensely.
Now, since COVID-19, those days are gone forever. I do not think things will ever go back to the way of life we had.
Now, since COVID-19, those days are gone forever. I do not think things will ever go back to the way of life we had.
We had no second thoughts about going bowling and putting on those rented bowling shoes, went in groups to concerts, plays, graduations, weddings, movies, bars or clubs and especially restaurants.
With all the changes being made now to even how we go to school - I do not see us ever really going back and that makes me very sad. Children growing up today will live very different lives and miss out on so much. I am so glad I came up in the good old days. I am counting my many blessings today for sure.
Perhaps it is my 73 years that makes me less amenable to the changes.
Just a simple thing like going to the hair dresser is a project and requires a mask and temperature check in the parking lot before I even enter the salon. I was born in Beaver Cleaver days and expected the world to be that way when I was an adult.
How did we get so far away from those days? I do not know.
I am perplexed at how we became so immoral, irrational, judgmental and divided. I hope those of your reading this are better able to adapt than I am.
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YouTube download / AP video / US families take part in DIY virus research tests - About 2,000 families in 11 U.S. cities are taking part in a large research study, in hopes of gaining a greater understanding of the coronavirus. (Aug. 7)