Think back on your fondest Christmas memories: They are most likely about shared moments and experiences. Few people remember the gifts they gave or got last year, let alone last decade. But we do remember those special cookies only Mom knows how to make.
Studies have shown that memories are made from experiences. Experiences that are unique and meaningful have been shown to have lasting imprints in the brain versus short-term gratification of a thrill that last little more than a day or two. Ever wonder why kids can hardly recall what they got for Christmas a week later?
In order to make a lasting memory there must be an imprint in the brain. Sadly, a new pair of shoes is not unique, no matter how amazing they are. Kneading dough to make a loaf of homemade bread or cutting and rolling dough to make homemade donuts. These activities elicit more sensations, creating more permanent memories. Happy Memories.
Each year more and more people are turning to alternative Christmas or holiday celebrations. They have found the holidays to be equally as enjoyable and celebratory. Christmas is supposed to be a time of "peace, joy and meaning."
As parents and people, we have a responsibility to show and teach others that you can buy happiness. What a better time of year to practice this concept than the present?
Consider what the season would be like if you decided not to sit in traffic and stand in long lines running around and stressing yourself out over gifts, cards and decorations?
Imagine that you were spending time with family and children doing something special other than wrapping gifts and putting yourself deeper in debt. Sounds pretty interesting doesn’t it?
This year give yourself permission to spend less money and time doing the things you think you should do or what is expected of you and spend the time doing the things you want to do.
Your friends and family will still love you. In fact, they might like you more because you are less frazzled.
Consider giving gifts of time, such as taking each person out for a special outing; maybe go to a Christmas show or parade. Give the gift of time, love and creativity.
Explain to those you know and love that you want to start a new tradition that is not based in commercialism and debt and gifts. Build a tradition that is based on memories, shared stories and special times. Maybe put together a scrapbook or a DVD. Even if those you love think this is stupid or corny at first, they will soon see its value as they reflect back on the meaning and memory of this new tradition.
Imagine about how awesome it will be that next year when the Visa bill comes that you won' have maxed it out and that you can spend more time with your family and children because you wont have to work more to pay off the debts.
Break the cycle and start living life.
Shane Porter, MS, LMHC