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Patti Gee of NSB speaks to the SE Volusia Kiwanis Club about |
NEW SMYRNA BEACH -- Patti Gee is a Texas gal who has lived in New Smyrna Beach since 1995, but it's her early married life half way around the world that is a story worth telling.
And she did just that at Wednesday's luncheon meeting of the Kiwanis of Southeast Volusia at the Smyrna Yacht Club.
Gee, now 70, met her Moslem-Indian husband, "Doc" Ansari, at St. Paul's Hospital in Dallas where he was chief pediatric resident and she was an X-ray technician. They were married Sept. 14, 1958.
Just three months after their wedding, her husband received a letter from his brother saying their mother in Calcutta, India was ill and asking for him.
"I wasn't going in the beginning," Gee recalled. "I was going to stay with my parents, but he assured me we would only be gone a month."
That month ended up being nearly six years.
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Patti Gill addresses the Kiwanis. At the podium is Kiwanis |
The real shocker was when their plane landed in India and her husband's family met the gushing bride. Problem was, they didn't know he had married.
"They were so surprised," Gee said with a smile. "They were not expecting this fair-haired, pale-faced American to be his wife -- because in India they already made plans for his wedding. They had all these women lined up for him.
Another shocker, to Gee herself, was the enormity of family living under one roof, granted the home looked more like a mansion than the typical 3-bedroom, 1-bath of 1950s America.
"We were staying with the mother-in-law, the father-in-law, Doc's brother and wife and children and two sisters' families and children, all in one home."
And it didn't take long for the young bride to realize her mother-in-las was not sick at all. "She just missed her son," Gee said with a frown.
There were other barriers to overcome, dress and food. Gee said she had no problem wearing the traditional Moslem women's clothing, but insisted on covering her face with a scarf instead of a Burka. The curry and red chili pepper were too much for Gee's Americanized stomach and she got sick. With some of the spices toned down, she got used to the food.
Another barrier was communication, Gee said. The men all spoke English, but none of the women did so at first she could not understand why one of them would stand at the doorway to her room whenever her husband went to work.
"My husband later explained, 'They didn't want the new bride to be lonely,'" she said, adding the language gap was a Godsend because there wasn't much she had in common in a new environment.
As the weeks turned to months and moths turned to years, Gee said she got used to her new living situation and things settled down once she picked up the native dialect.
First child, Deborah Razia was born on Sept. 4, 1959, in Hazaribaugh. There was some concern because her husband's family wanted them to have a son to continue the family name. That prayer was answered April 5, 1961, with the birth of Alan. Both her children were registered in Calcutta at the American consulate with her husband's approval as American citizens.
They left India in 1964 to continue their children's educations and for her husband to finish his residency in psychiatry.
In 1965, they had a third child, Cynthia Fatima, in Dallas.
The family returned to India for a month's stay every year after that until to mid 1970s. Dr. Ansari died of pancreatic cancer on July 28, 1976, and Gee and her children moved to Poughkeepsie, N.Y. She was introduced to Bob Gee and they married a year later.